The Wedding Crasher
by SessRinFan
Summary: Powered by sake, Sesshomaru crashes Rin's wedding. Setting: Post canon.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha, and not making any profit out of this. However, I never forget to thank the wonderful Rumiko-sama for this wonderful work of art.

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 **A/N:** This story is an idea inspired by the story Youkai Pride, Human Prejudice from HannahGallifrey.

It is an attempt at a humorous oneshot to tease our Sesshomaru-sama. I thank you to all who had the patience to read through this story. I do hope you did laugh at least once or twice through it. If you enjoyed it, please leave a review. This SessRinFan needs some love too, you know what I mean. lol. Thank you in advance for that review.

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 **The Wedding Crasher.  
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At Kaede's village, Rin had turned 18 - finally.

Rin wanted Sesshomaru. That was quite understandable, at least for the ladies, since all who knew of Rin's situation wanted to be Rin for the chance to scheme their own kidnapping event every day, just to fall in Sesshomaru's protective arms every day, and to eventually fall in love with him in two days, three at most.

The problem was Rin, being a girl in the feudal era - curse it, had been taught by the many teachers, hired by Sesshomaru, the decorum of a young lady - demure and polite, elegant and eloquent, and, above all, modest in words.

She had learned well to not say much, so the secret of her heart stayed voiceless in her mind.

And saying the question "May I have your hand in marriage?" was the duty of the opposite gender, which, in Rin's case, would be the duty of a certain opposite gender with a very specific name - Sesshomaru.

The darn dog demon had not said anything.

The only logical deduction was that Sesshomaru didn't love Rin the way she loved him. What else would prevent him from asking for her hand. However, there was nothing logical about the demon lord, and to deal with a thing that enigmatic was to be engaged in an eternal guessing game, the duration of time which Rin didn't have.

So, to keep it simple, Rin and Kohaku were getting married.

A celebration was much needed in the monotonous village anyway.

It was all set up by Kagome - a modern wedding in the feudal era. The miko was revolutionizing the village, from instant noodles to wedding rituals.

Kagome grinned as wide as she could at the very successful rehearsal dinner, during which Sesshomaru, acting as the guardian of the orphaned girl and without a fuss, took Rin's hand down the aisle to Kohaku, who was grinning even wider than Kagome herself.

It was going so smoothly.

Awesome.

The day everyone was waiting for had finally come. Even the gods gave their blessings by making the weather beautiful.

Rin, in an excessively laced white dress with a tail longer than the street itself, walked, holding Sesshomaru's hand, down the aisle toward the ceremony stage where Kohaku was standing looking quite smug.

The conductor of the ceremony was Miroku, whose gaze didn't leave the chest of the bride, but it was through no fault of his own since the bride who, in the modern wedding dress, was showing some eye-trapping cleavage.

All the while, Jaken was fighting with the tail of the dress, fussing about how it was going to get dirty. He kept jumping like a frog after it and grabbed its hem, only to have the silky fabric tail slip through his three finger hands over and over again. Nobody asked him to, the extravagant dress was going to be worn just one time, but to make him happy, they all left him to his own antics.

On the sides of the aisle were lines of chairs with more villagers than had been invited, sitting with intentional quietude, waiting for the kiss at the end, at which point, they were supposed to jump up and cheer for the newlyweds - instructed by the village miko. On their own, however, the village bachelorettes would cheer with extra loudness because Sesshomaru would still be a bachelor - they still had a chance.

When Rin appeared at the beginning of the aisle, they all gasped at Rin's appearance. For the first time in everyone's life, Rin was prettier than Sesshomaru, according to most, not all.

Of all the people Kagome could have chosen to bear the rings, she selected Sango's three year old son, who was quite cute in a miniature tuxedo; however, he was chewing on the rings, which were made of candy because Rin and Kohaku would rather eat them than wear them after that.

Sango, sitting in the front row, had to keep running in a hunchback form towards the ring bearer, to take the ring away from his mouth, and to place the rings back into the box where they belonged. She gave up after eight times doing so, and prayed to God that the rings wouldn't get bitten in half by the time they were to be presented.

Let's fast forward to the reception since the ceremony was boring as always, with the exception of the kiss which was done with just a light peck on the lips. Nobody knew why the kiss was so nonchalant, but they cheered as they were instructed; and amid the wedding frenzy, nobody cared why or whatever.

It was into the evening when the reception started.

So, round tables were set up on their front yard for the reception, again, with more villagers than invited, some of whom had to stand here and there while eating because there were not enough seats. Kagome wasn't the most perfect wedding planner despite the belief from some who thought Kagome could cough up anything on the earth and in the universe, which she might, but not tables.

Sesshomaru, being an important guest, was sitting at the table with, of all people, his little brother and Miroku, both of whom were enjoying two bottomless bottles of sake.

When Rin, in Kohaku's hand, came around to Sesshomaru's table, Inuyasha raised a glass, making a toast to the couple along with the laughter, the cheers, the clapping and all that wedding jazz.

"Hey, Sesshomaru," said Inuyasha, "let's put aside our differences for one day in honor of our little girl and make a toast."

Sesshomaru stared at Inuyasha, the signature stare that left the receivers to decipher for themselves its meaning, on which nobody ever came up with any definite conclusion, even after pulling out all their hair.

"Yes, Sesshomaru-sama, at weddings, we put away all family feuds," Miroku chimed in while raising his own glass.

"Yes, Sesshomaru-sama," Rin chimed in. Why not. If it wasn't for the decorum required of a young lady in the feudal era, Rin would drink all the alcohol herself because the man she wanted was so nonchalant about her being married to someone else. "You should make a toast to the happiest day of my life." Rin was so happy, tears were flowing uncontrollably down her cheeks.

Sesshomaru's hesitation was interrupted by a sudden chanting in unison among all the attendees from all the tables, chopsticks drumming on ceramic plates. "Ses-sho-ma-ru! Ses-sho-ma-ru! Ses-sho-ma-ru! Ses-sho-ma-ru! Ses-sho-ma-ru! Ses-sho-ma-ru! ..." It went on and on.

"Look Sesshomaru, they won't stop until you take a shot." Inuyasha handed him a shot glass filled with sake.

Sesshomaru took the glass. The chanting turned into one loud gasp, then all quieted in anticipation of seeing him actually put something of human sustenance, if sake could be considered sustenance, in his mouth.

He did it!

Oh My God! He did it.

Cheers broke out right after, along with loud clapping from the whole village.

Oops, he - did it again, and again. At some point, both bottles from Inuyasha and Miroku's hand were in Sesshomaru's both hands as he guzzled down to the bottoms of the bottomless bottles.

Some short time passed. Sesshomaru's face pinked up. His eyes glazed lazily with drooping eyelids. He stood up, teetering back and forth, going from table to table, stealing more sake.

The alcohol made Sesshomaru have hiccups which made his head jerk back every time, which made him teeter backwards and then forwards by his will for balance.

Then the taciturn demon Lord, who, as mentioned before, usually used staring as his first line of communication, started talking.

Everyone stopped all their activities to listen to the demon Lord - like he was the boss, a slightly drunk one at the moment; drunk bosses must always be heeded.

"Inu - yashaaa," the drunk boss said, pointing at Inuyasha, hiccuping twice, followed by the head jerks, posture swaying a little, then continued, "I have always been jealous of you," hiccuped, jerked, "because our father loved you more."

Sesshomaru fell on a table, crashing it. The occupants of the particular table helped him up. All the food was on the floor afterwards - no more eating for those unfortunate diners who obviously had bad karma in terms of dining.

"But I'll haveeee to adMit, hiccup, you didn't turn out so bad, little brother."

Sesshomaru staggered towards a random table, faltering into it. Slapping the table with his hands to prevent from falling, he yanked a bottle of sake from a random villager who gave it up readily.

He then tilted his head back, raising the bottle in an incline on top of his face, pouring everything into his mouth with one gulp. Though, tilting his head a little too far caused him to fall backward into some other table and successfully ruined it for those occupants.

They, the suckers who should have left Sesshomaru lying on the ground, helped his flailing body up again.

He staggered, leaning zigzag from one table to another, searching for more sake. For his convenience, random villagers just handed their bottles to him.

Hiccup.

Sesshomaru found his grip on Inuyasha's shoulder somehow. Using Inuyasha for balance, Sesshomaru slurped down the bottle in his hand. After it was empty, he threw it away at some random guy's face - unintentionally.

Putting both hands on Inuyasha's shoulders, Sesshomaru said, "I love you, little brother." He pointed at Inuyasha and waved his finger after each word, saying "I. LOVE. YOU! hiccup. Know that."

The bromance would have been so epic if it wasn't the Sake speaking.

Sesshomaru then pushed Inuyasha down, making the latter fall into some table, ruining that.

Sesshomaru moved to Miroku, who was standing next to Inuyasha. He gripped the latter's neck. The monk, who should have run away but didn't, had it coming. Sesshomaru picked Miroku up by the neck, stared fire into Miroku's eyes, briefly, before he threw Miroku onto some other table, crashing that.

Pointing at Miroku, who was sprawling on the broken table, trying to brush the food off his tuxedo, Sesshomaru hiccuped and said, "Stop looking at Rin's chest!"

All the while, everyone was standing or sitting or lying on the ground, immobile and in silence, all wide-eyed, fixing their stares on the demon boss.

"I should have brought a camcorder," Kagome whispered to Sango.

The wedding planner didn't bring one because she then would have to produce also a television, a video player, and all the whatever equipment needed. However, those could be brought back from the modern time but the electricity which she hadn't figured out a way to produce yet.

If Kagome had known, she would still bring the camcorder.

She was next. Sesshomaru was right in front of her.

"Hah?! Oh no," said Kagome, jumping back, eyes already widened ever since the whole thing started.

Sesshomaru brushed his finger through her hair, falling a little into her, but he balanced himself. "Your hair is nice. hiccup. What's taking you so long? I want a niece and a nephew. hiccup . So get busy, miko."

Kagome gulped down a puff of air. "Yes."

Standing beside Kagome, the smart Sango started to run, but didn't get too far when Sesshomaru's hand was on her shoulder. "Go be with your monk." He grabbed Sango and flung her towards Miroku who was on the ground, still reclining on the broken table. Sesshomaru instructed Sango, "Make sure he stops looking at Rin. Hah."

"Ouch," Miroku groaned when Sango landed on him.

Sesshomaru swung around, lost a little balance and fell into some villagers, who then supported Sesshomaru back to the standing position.

Sesshomaru reached out his hand. At the cue, some villager ran up to him and handed him another bottle.

With the tilting of head and pouring into mouth action, Sesshomaru emptied that bottle. "This liquid is quite goOD. hiccup. You humans sure are crafty."

Sesshomaru turned around and back, looking for something.

The boldest guy in the crowd, Inuyasha, who was most secured since he was loved by Sesshomaru, which fact was made known a few minutes ago, walked up to the dog demon. "Hey man, I think -"

Sesshomaru unsheathed Inuyasha's sword from the latter's waist and pressed it against Inuyasha's neck. Apparently, the Tetsaiga was approving of the drunk demon and allowed him to hold it, or perhaps the sword, like everyone else, was too shocked to make any fuss.

"Hah?" Inuyasha, astonished.

"Great, now he's got your sword and your neck too," Kagome announced.

"Thanks for saying the obvious, Kagome," replied Inuyasha.

"Get out of my way, little brother," Sesshomaru said, as he staggered, hiccuped and jerked, causing the sword to seesaw on Inuyasha's neck, scraping the latter a little, drawing some insignificant amount of blood.

Sesshomaru then hurled the sword to somewhere far away behind some bush in the woods, and Inuyasha had no choice but to jump after it.

Great! The only guy who could possibly stop Sesshomaru was gone.

Sesshomaru found what he was looking for, the most obvious thing in the yard, the centerpiece, Rin, in a very lengthy white dress.

Rin should have run, but she, too, was struck by a petrifying power that planted her feet to the ground, and her mouth has not closed since. Her Lord had never failed to surprise her, that dashing thing, who was hiccuping, jerking, wobbling and about to fall into some village kid at the moment.

Rin's dashing thing somehow waddled towards and got in front of her.

Perhaps, the thing that should have run was the guy beside Rin, Kohaku, who, like Rin, stood immobilized. "You run, Rin," said Kohaku.

"Arrghh, too late," replied Rin.

Sesshomaru looked at Rin, then moved his gaze toward Kohaku, then back, about ten times, as if he was deciding who he was going to fling away next.

He put his hand on Rin's face, caressed it a few times, his drunk eyes sobering up a little. He seemed to recognize something familiar and perhaps was coming out of the sake trance.

That thought was proven to be wrong when he suddenly snatched Kohaku and slung Kohaku horizontally, causing Kohaku's body to skip from one table to another like a rock skipping on water, which successively took down several tables and a few villagers in Kohaku's path.

Food was flying everywhere. A few opportunistic villagers made some skillful limbo maneuvers to catch the flying grapes with their mouths.

The demon Lord was always so efficient - ly destructive.

At Rin, he looked.

 _'Oh God, help me, God.'_

Rin's dress wouldn't do well flying through the tables, sweeping food along with it. What a messy sight.

Rin shuddered.

"Lord Sesshomaru, ahem." Jaken, up from nowhere on the ground, jumped in between Sesshomaru and Rin, proceeding to say something. All he did, however, was successfully putting attention on himself which was not the smartest thing to do at the moment, but he wouldn't be Jaken any other ways.

"POW, POW. THUD."

Two impressive bumps appeared on Jaken's head as he flew head first into some tree trunk which bestowed upon his head another bump, totaling to three to be exact.

"Er, Sesshomaru-sama," Rin, bright eyed, sported a smile, hoping to reel Sesshomaru back to normalcy.

"Yes, Rin. hiccup."

 _'Hah? He sounds normal… except for the hiccup.'_

"Uhmm.'" After getting his attention, Rin didn't know what to say.

Sesshomaru cradled Rin's waist into one of his arms; Rin gazed at him tenderly. He suddenly leaned backwards. _'Hah.'_ Rin pulled on him with all her might to prevent him from falling back. Then he tilted forward, threatening to fall on top of her. _'Oh, no.'_ Rin stretched back her leg and pushed her hands on his body to counterbalance his impending forward fall.

With the many artistic maneuvers they did - leaning forward, pushing back, swaying sideways, and such - to keep balance, Rin was practically doing the waltz with Sesshomaru.

Well, at least he was dancing at her wedding.

In that dancing fashion, he started to say, "Rin."

"Yes, Sesshomaru-sama."

"Do you not know how much I miss you?"

 _'Hah? You do?'_ Rin pushed on Sesshomaru to stop him from falling forwards, eyes crinkled, "Urgg!"

Sesshomaru left Rin for a little bit, looking for another bottle, as if he wasn't drunk enough already. After he found one, he came back to Rin.

"Rin, do you not know how much I love you?"

 _'No, I don't know.'_

Tilting head, pouring into mouth, emptying the bottle, throwing it away - hitting Kaede. hiccup.

Kaede shook her head.

"Rin, Do you not know how much I want to be with you, how much - your scent intoxicates me?"

 _'Er, is my scent as good as the scent of Sake.'_

Rin finally found a way to anchor him better, so a little less pushing and pulling was needed.

"What is it that Kohaku has that I don't have, Rin?"

 _'Er, nothing.'_

"Is he confessing his love?" asked Kagome, who was the only one still standing besides Rin, well, and besides a few other unnamed villagers, but not for long if she kept interrupting.

"Silence, Miko," commanded the drunk demon.

And Kagome was effectively silenced, without even an utter of a "Yes". She shouldn't have interrupted a love confession anyway.

It had caused Sesshomaru to lose his trend of thought. "Where was I, Rin?"

"Er, you were comparing yourself to Kohaku?" answered Rin.

"Yes, Kohaku, that wimp. He's not good enough for you, Rin." Sesshomaru brushed his hair with his claws. "You and I are made for each other."

 _'Yes, I agree.'_

"I want you, Rin."

 _'I want you, too, Sesshomaru-sama.'_

"Nobody should stand in our way, Rin."

 _'No. They shouldn't.'_

"Why did you leave me for him, Rin?"

 _'Er, I didn't know we were together.'_

Amazingly, he hadn't hiccuped during any of those words; he also staggered less. Was he faking it? Was he using the voice of Sake to say what he wasn't able to say when sober?

"Do you not love me the way I love you, as a lover, Rin?"

"But I do love you. It's you who don't want me," Rin lowered her head.

"WHAT? WHO … who told you that?"

"Nobody, it's just that you never say you wanted me, Sesshomaru-sama."

"I was waiting for you, Rin. You're the one who's supposed to make the choice and voice it."

 _'Really? Well, your silent staring wasn't exactly clear.'_

He held out his hand. "If you choose me, take my hand, Rin."

She took his hand, slowly, eyes wandering, not knowing where she would land, hopefully not a table with food. All the villagers seemed to know what Rin was thinking. They wiped off the food on all tables real quick, to welcome the bride to, at least, a clean table.

If he was saving the best for last, it would be the most impressive fling of the evening.

 _'Dear God.'_

And Sesshomaru, in fact, did some flinging.

He flung Rin into his arms. "Let's get away from here. Tell Kohaku you're leaving him for me."

Sesshomaru swept Rin off her feet, not really giving Rin a chance to tell her new husband that her unfaithful self was already leaving him for a more beautiful man after only about three hours into their marriage.

Together, Sesshomaru and Rin ascended into the air, gliding away.

… gliding...for about 1000 feet when Sesshomaru drunkenly hit a tree branch at the edge of the woods and fell down; even a kid knew one shouldn't be flying under the influence.

By some good grace for cleanliness, the tail of Rin's dress landed before Sesshomaru and spread smoothly on the grassy ground, welcoming him thudding down on top of it.

Rin fell after him, and on top of him, landing in such an artful coincidence that she was straddling his waist.

She couldn't stand up because her dress was under him. He couldn't get up because he was too far drunk to know he was supposed to get up. Instead, he gazed at Rin, and reached up, cupping her cheek for a few seconds before the unaccountable amount of alcohol he drank took over him.

He fell asleep.

With the excuse that her dress being stuck, Rin lay down next to Sesshomaru, looking sideways at him with tender eyes. She moved her lips forwards to steal a kiss but quickly jerked back. The dog reeked of sake.

Maybe at a later time, if there was still a chance at a later time.

She blushed.

The next morning, the sun readily blinded Rin's eyes when she opened them.

"Argh," she protested, to nobody.

Sesshomaru was gone. Of course. Rin lowered her head. It was a dream. He got drunk; Sake was speaking; and the words of Sake couldn't really be trusted.

Hoisting up all of her dress, which took both of her hands to hold, she started to walk back to the village.

"Rin."

 _'Hah? Sesshomaru-sama?'_

"You're still here?"

He walked up to her, handing her a pear he probably just stole from someone's orchard, having learned the stealthy skill from Rin during their travel. He looked into the distance, hesitated for a moment, then said, "I apologize, Rin. It looked like I abducted you on your wedding night."

She took the pear, stooping, hiding her tears. "It's alright, Sesshomaru-sama. You were quite entertaining."

"Is that so, then why are you crying?"

"I don't know."

"Rin." He reached down and took her hand. "Allow me to hold your hand one more time before I deliver you back to Kohaku. I'll explain my action to him. He's probably waiting for you."

"No, he's not."

Sesshomaru furrowed his brows, "No?"

"No, Kohaku and I are like brother and sister. It was a fake wedding. You're the -"

"What?" Sesshomaru tilted her face up towards him.

In silence, they gazed at each other for a long moment; Rin's eyes quivered - longing; Sesshomaru's eyes fervent - fiery.

Suddenly, and waiting no longer, Sesshomaru lunged forwards, sealing Rin's lips into a marriage, allowing her no more weddings with any other wimps.

There were no cheers from any wedding attendees, however. But at least, Rin was in a wedding gown.

Only the playful forest birds witnessed Sesshomaru and Rin's self proclaimed marriage. The birds circled above them, chirping cheerily, and blessing them by - squirting a pile of white liquid on top of Sesshomaru's head.

Rin broke free from the too-short kiss and giggled.

Darn birds.

But it was a blessing in disguise. If not for that bird emptying his bowel inappropriately, the couple would have stood there, locked in an eternal kiss. They couldn't do that. They had to go wash up because, as hot as that kiss was, newlyweds had far better activities to engage themselves in - like breakfast…!

...


End file.
